well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
