Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
