He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
