If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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