Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize