Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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