its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
