You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
