dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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