You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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