Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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