Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
