I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
