wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
