Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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