You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is it penis luge time yet?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
