Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sext me about skeletons
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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