i may or may not be watching the land before time
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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