hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
