i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
