I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
