Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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