i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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