I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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