Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Terrible idea I love it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
