either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Screwed.edu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
