my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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