never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
