You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this will be a night to untag.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
