Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
