I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
