I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
