My room smells like vodka and shame
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Let's get the cat blown out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
