Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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