I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
