i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
