using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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