I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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