Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
