At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
