remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
