Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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