I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
