you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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