I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
