i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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