I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
