I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
