she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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