cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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