After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Houston, we have a squirter
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
